What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
