id be glad to
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
