White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
