Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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