I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
