When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
