i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize