I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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