If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
