some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my shit smells like andre
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
