Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
