just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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