I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
