if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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