You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
