i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
