I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
