I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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