why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
