Tell her she can't have a vagina
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
