My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
