$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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