I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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