i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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