Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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