i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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