my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
