I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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