Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
