didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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