I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
