i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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