I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
