Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
How external is "for external use only"?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
