Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
