he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
