I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
