Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
