the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
