My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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