I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
