whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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