you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
