I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
