Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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