Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
