After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
