I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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