How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
