Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No subtext here. People are naked.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize