508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
