Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
