Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
