My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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