If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
