Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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