So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
