Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize