How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
