just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
