dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
