Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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