talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This is the high leading the old right now
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
