guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
