What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
